Finding strength in the Psalms

Wow I have not blogged in a long time, and I am so sorry for not keeping everyone updated. Things have been very normal around here. Still teaching English classes, sunday school, helping the youth leaders, evangelism, etc. However, I have noticed some new things... my relationships with the people here are growing everyday, I have a lot less free time, and my walk with God has grown so much stronger than when I first got here. Before I came I expected for my relationship with the Lord to strengthen, and He has proven faithful. When your family and friends are thousands of miles away, you find strength in other ways. When you try to do it on your own, you are only left feeling lonely and week. In the past few months, I have learned that relying on the Lord's strength brings peace, and comfort. This past month, I have clung to the Psalms as a way to strengthen my prayer life. I absolutely love how honest and sincere David is with God. He wasn't afraid to express his frustration, fear and loneliness. He told God when he felt distant and away from his presence. He also gave praise in every circumstance. By David's example I have cried out to the Lord with my whole heart. I feel like we often "sugar coat" our prayers and don't tell the Lord how we really feel. I have done that NUMEROUS times. When we are honest with God, it only hurts us more and distances us from Him. He tells us that he knows our every thought, so why aren't we sincere with Him in our conversations?  I have found that I feel more at peace when I talk with God in every worry, frustration, joy, need, thanks. We often go to our friends and family first for comfort, but when we cling to the lord our comfort is much more deep. Sorry this post is kind of scattered. I just wanted to share what the Lord has been teaching me in the last month. I know He is not done with me here, and I am excited to see how he continues to stretch and challenge me. It is through stretching the we become stronger; however, stretching also often brings soreness. But  because of our hope in the Lord, we can press on knowing it is for our good. I pray that you also find yourselves being stretched in your faith. I love sharing my journey with you all, but I would love even more to hear your journey. When we share our stories, it only encourages us to continue running the race with perseverance. 

Locked up abroad

I’m so glad God sometimes asks us to do things that we never thought we would or that we don’t want to do. I knew when I partnered with Carlos and Karla here in Costa Rica that there would be a possibility that I would do something with prison ministry. They not only are the pastors of the church I work in, but they also have a thriving prison ministry called Voz de Libertad. That opportunity came last week when we had a team here from Texas. I saw the schedule about a month in advanced and just tried not to think about the fact that the prison was one of their first activities. The night before as I was laying in bed I started to pray that if I had to go to the prison that the Lord would give me the strength and peace to go. All I could think about was those episodes of locked up abroad I’ve seen.  We started off the day doing construction work in the church and I just out it out of mind hoping that when 6:00 rolled around that night, I would be home resting and not getting checked by a guard. I started talking to Carlos and he said while laughing that I had to go to the prison. I then asked him if he was going to come back to the church to pick me up or if he was meeting the team there. He said I could ride with the team. So I walked over to ask their team leader if they had space, all while hoping that their bus would be completely full (leaving no way for me to get to the prison). But of course they had plenty of room for me in the bus.

So I got to the prison, the guard patted me down and I headed inside. There are a few big differences here in Costa Rica than what you see portrayed in movies. First when they let you through the gate, there are no 2-man cells lining the walls. You walk in and the inmates are right there in the hallway. Also the inmates here don’t wear uniforms so half the men there don’t have shirts on or their pants are almost to their knees. As I walked in I stared straight at the floor and blocked out the noise. Then something amazing happened. I walked into the church inside the prison and everything looked different. I was the translator for our group so I introduced everybody and then we started with the program. Two men from the Texas group shared their testimonies and combined lasted less than 10 minutes so there was a lot of time left in the program. I asked them what else they had planned and they said nothing. So I told God, “well I guess its up to me”. So I started talking and I told the inmates honestly that I hadn’t prepared anything, and that it was up to God to give me a word to say. And like God, he gave me almost 15 minutes of things to say. Then we started passing out cookies and hygiene kits. I started talking with the church leader and then it was time to go. So we headed out of the church and then it hit me. I had forgotten I was in a prison. The whole time I translated and spoke, God had given me His eyes for the men there. I left the prison knowing without a doubt that the Holy Spirit is living and active in San Sebastian prison. As I was riding back with Carlos I was telling him about my experience and until he asked me “you don’t even feel like you’re in a room filled with murderers do you?” that I realized it never once crossed my mind to wonder what they had done to be there. In spite of all my fears and worries going into the prison, the Lord answered my prayers and gave me complete peace and I would go as far as saying comfort in the prison. He changed my fear into joy and I will forever remember what God showed me that day. I couldn’t help but be reminded in Philippians 4 where it talks about a “peace that transcends all understanding”. And that is the only way I can explain what I felt. By no means should a 23-year-old American girl feel at peace in the middle of a Costa Rican prison surrounded by inmates, but like Philippians says the Lord guarded my heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

As I reflect on this experience I can’t wait till the Lord asks me to do something I’m not comfortable with because I know that the blessings highly out way any worries I may have before. Hopefully I will be able to go back to the prison and continue to grow and learn what it means to love my brothers in Christ!