Wow I have not blogged in a long time, and I am so sorry for not keeping everyone updated. Things have been very normal around here. Still teaching English classes, sunday school, helping the youth leaders, evangelism, etc. However, I have noticed some new things... my relationships with the people here are growing everyday, I have a lot less free time, and my walk with God has grown so much stronger than when I first got here. Before I came I expected for my relationship with the Lord to strengthen, and He has proven faithful. When your family and friends are thousands of miles away, you find strength in other ways. When you try to do it on your own, you are only left feeling lonely and week. In the past few months, I have learned that relying on the Lord's strength brings peace, and comfort. This past month, I have clung to the Psalms as a way to strengthen my prayer life. I absolutely love how honest and sincere David is with God. He wasn't afraid to express his frustration, fear and loneliness. He told God when he felt distant and away from his presence. He also gave praise in every circumstance. By David's example I have cried out to the Lord with my whole heart. I feel like we often "sugar coat" our prayers and don't tell the Lord how we really feel. I have done that NUMEROUS times. When we are honest with God, it only hurts us more and distances us from Him. He tells us that he knows our every thought, so why aren't we sincere with Him in our conversations? I have found that I feel more at peace when I talk with God in every worry, frustration, joy, need, thanks. We often go to our friends and family first for comfort, but when we cling to the lord our comfort is much more deep. Sorry this post is kind of scattered. I just wanted to share what the Lord has been teaching me in the last month. I know He is not done with me here, and I am excited to see how he continues to stretch and challenge me. It is through stretching the we become stronger; however, stretching also often brings soreness. But because of our hope in the Lord, we can press on knowing it is for our good. I pray that you also find yourselves being stretched in your faith. I love sharing my journey with you all, but I would love even more to hear your journey. When we share our stories, it only encourages us to continue running the race with perseverance.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Monday, August 6, 2012
Locked up abroad
I’m so glad God sometimes asks us to do things that we never
thought we would or that we don’t want to do. I knew when I partnered with
Carlos and Karla here in Costa Rica that there would be a possibility that I
would do something with prison ministry. They not only are the pastors of the
church I work in, but they also have a thriving prison ministry called Voz de
Libertad. That opportunity came last week when we had a team here from Texas. I
saw the schedule about a month in advanced and just tried not to think about
the fact that the prison was one of their first activities. The night before as
I was laying in bed I started to pray that if I had to go to the prison that
the Lord would give me the strength and peace to go. All I could think about
was those episodes of locked up abroad I’ve seen. We started off the day doing construction work in the church
and I just out it out of mind hoping that when 6:00 rolled around that night, I
would be home resting and not getting checked by a guard. I started talking to
Carlos and he said while laughing that I had to go to the prison. I then asked
him if he was going to come back to the church to pick me up or if he was
meeting the team there. He said I could ride with the team. So I walked over to
ask their team leader if they had space, all while hoping that their bus would
be completely full (leaving no way for me to get to the prison). But of course
they had plenty of room for me in the bus.
So I got to the prison, the guard patted me down and I
headed inside. There are a few big differences here in Costa Rica than what you
see portrayed in movies. First when they let you through the gate, there are no
2-man cells lining the walls. You walk in and the inmates are right there in
the hallway. Also the inmates here don’t wear uniforms so half the men there
don’t have shirts on or their pants are almost to their knees. As I walked in I
stared straight at the floor and blocked out the noise. Then something amazing
happened. I walked into the church inside the prison and everything looked
different. I was the translator for our group so I introduced everybody and
then we started with the program. Two men from the Texas group shared their
testimonies and combined lasted less than 10 minutes so there was a lot of time
left in the program. I asked them what else they had planned and they said
nothing. So I told God, “well I guess its up to me”. So I started talking and I
told the inmates honestly that I hadn’t prepared anything, and that it was up
to God to give me a word to say. And like God, he gave me almost 15 minutes of
things to say. Then we started passing out cookies and hygiene kits. I started
talking with the church leader and then it was time to go. So we headed out of
the church and then it hit me. I had forgotten I was in a prison. The whole
time I translated and spoke, God had given me His eyes for the men there. I
left the prison knowing without a doubt that the Holy Spirit is living and
active in San Sebastian prison. As I was riding back with Carlos I was telling
him about my experience and until he asked me “you don’t even feel like you’re
in a room filled with murderers do you?” that I realized it never once crossed
my mind to wonder what they had done to be there. In spite of all my fears and
worries going into the prison, the Lord answered my prayers and gave me
complete peace and I would go as far as saying comfort in the prison. He
changed my fear into joy and I will forever remember what God showed me that
day. I couldn’t help but be reminded in Philippians 4 where it talks about a
“peace that transcends all understanding”. And that is the only way I can
explain what I felt. By no means should a 23-year-old American girl feel at
peace in the middle of a Costa Rican prison surrounded by inmates, but like Philippians
says the Lord guarded my heart and mind in Christ Jesus.
As I reflect on this experience I can’t wait till the Lord
asks me to do something I’m not comfortable with because I know that the
blessings highly out way any worries I may have before. Hopefully I will be
able to go back to the prison and continue to grow and learn what it means to
love my brothers in Christ!
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Ups and Downs
So I have almost been here in Costa Rica for 5 months now,
which is so weird to think about. Being here definitely has its ups and downs,
but this past month has been more up and down than usual. Things here are very
normal now. I have a routine I’m used to, I know how to take the bus really
well, I know what food I’m going to get everyday for breakfast lunch and
dinner. Things are no longer new and exciting. I’ve left the “honeymoon” stage
if you will. This is good in that I feel like I have really settled here.
However, because everything has lost its newness now, it makes me miss things
back home more. I will say this past month has been the toughest when it comes
to homesickness.
Like I said though, this month has also had a lot of ups. We
had the annual youth camp this year, and in many ways it was like all the other
youth camps I have been a part of here. We had some great messages, games, and
free time. My favorite part of course was the free time because I had the
chance to just sit and talk to several of the youth that I didn’t know very
well. It was the first time that I didn’t have to translate the camp, so I was
able to sit and listen to the other youth leaders share their lessons and in
turn was richly blessed. It was also the first time that when the time come to
go back to the church to be greeted by all the parents and have the closing
ceremony that I didn’t get choked up in tears. I didn’t have to say sad
“goodbyes” and “see you next years” and that was an amazing feeling. I am able
to continue building relationships with the youth here and my ministry doesn’t
just end after a week. The difference is amazing being able to see how the
youth continue to grow and change after the camp when they return back to
school and reality. I get to be there when they struggle with daily things,
when they celebrate their birthdays, and when they need help with their English
homework. The blessing is so much great when I am able to invest this whole
year and not just a week. This is all I have to think about when I am in those
low times and it puts everything in perspective again and makes it all worth
it. Just today I was walking to my house and saw a family from the church that
has 4 little girls. A missionary from the Mormon Church was talking to them. I
stopped to talk to them, and one of the little girls would not stop hugging me
while we were chatting. It was such a beautiful image of why I am here. The
other missionary was trying to share her religion with the family in a short 5-minute
conversation, but because I see these girls every week at church I am able to
have a true relationship with them.
My adventure here has not been easy, especially being away
from my family. However, little by little God is strengthening my relationships
here. I have learned a lot about what it means to “leave your father and mother”
to serve the Lord and I am continuing to learn everyday what it means to fully
rely on Him in everything. I have always known how important my church family
is, and here it is growing even bigger.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Birds of the air
I have been thinking about Matthew 6:26 a lot lately. “Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor
reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?”
When I started this journey in October of 2010, and I was
looking at the budget and how much I needed to raise in support I was nervous, worried, anxious, all the emotions that display lack of trust in the Lord.
I thought Lord how in the world am I going to raise these funds… Well he
answered by reminding me that all the funds in the world are His and we are
just stewards of it. So after the initial shock of the end number, God gave me
an amazing peace about everything. Once I gave control of the budget to God, I
started seeing the donations rolling in. Also, He blessed me with two great
jobs while I was in college, so I was able to put money into the ministry as
well. It made working while studying so much easier when I new that my work at
the present time was going to help support my future work here in Costa Rica.
Now that I am well into my time here in Costa Rica and I continue to see funds
come in I laugh at how I was first nervous about having enough money to come. I
think God was laughing at me when I was worrying about asking people for money
because he had everything in control even before the very first thought of coming to
Costa Rica. In this moment I am so happy to report
that I am at 100% + extra funding right now. I have enough in my account to
support myself and the ministry costs here for the rest of my time here. I have
been so humbled by the support I have received; not only financially,
but also spiritually. God has shown me
what it means to be blessed by giving, both on the giving and receiving end. I
know what it feels like to be so overwhelmed by seeing donations come in to
support something you care so much about. Thank you so much for your gifts and prayers. Even though
I am 100% financially funded, I will NEVER be without need of your thoughts and
prayers. So I am asking that you continue this journey with me by praying for
me, and the Calles Blancos community.
On another note, I realized that I haven't blogged in over a month. YIKES! So many things have happened since I last blogged. I went home for 2 beautiful weddings, I came back to Costa Rica, then my sister came to visit for 2 weeks. Things will continue to be crazy busy in July. We have a youth camp next week, vacation bible school, a missionary team coming to do some work on the church, and of course THE OLYMPICS :). So there will be plenty to blog about next month!
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Mi Casita
My humble bedroom
The bathroom
This is known as the "widow maker".
A glimpse into the store
Street view
It's so nice being able to go to the store in my pajamas!
My pictures
The laundry room
The wonderful livingroom
Door to the store
The kitchen
I hope you guys enjoyed the tour of "mi casita" (my little house). Pretty soon I will be back to my big house in Alabama for two of my best friends' weddings. I am excited to go home for a brief trip, but I know I will miss things about my home here. I know the time will fly by and I pray that I will be itching to get back to the work God has called me to here in Costa Rica.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
New Normalcy
Hello everyone! Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve posted.
It’s not that I haven’t been thinking about my blog, its just that I haven’t
really had anything to blog about. As I started thinking about it more and more
I realized that not having anything to blog about is kind of a blessing. I
don’t have any huge news, and I am learning that that is ok. It means that life
here is normal. Normalcy is something good for missionaries. It means I am past
the “tourist” stage here. When I was at training with The Mission Society, we
learned about the several stages of culture shock. The first stage is the
“tourist” stage where everything is new and exciting. After that comes the
rough patch, or the crisis period. When things start to become frustrating,
fears arise, and feelings of loneliness replace the newness of it all. I don’t
know if I am 100% in this stage, but there are definitely moments when these
feelings come to mind. After the rough patch comes the adjustment stage. I
don’t know if I am quite here yet because the fears and frustrations still
linger, but I can say that I each day I am feeling more and more comfortable
with life here. My room feels like my room and not just some place I am
staying. I am more and more comfortable with the family I live with. My
schedule has become a routine. And honestly I look forward to eating beans and
rice everyday. Of course there are things I miss at home, and nothing here can
replace those things, but everything here is becoming the new normal for me.
Some of you have asked what my schedule is like so here is an overview of what
normal is for me now:
Sunday: I teach Sunday school to the younger youth every
other week and I also help with alter prayer every Sunday morning. I also
usually spend time walking and talking with one of the youth who faces A LOT of
challenges in life. This girl needs lots of pray for strength (you can call her
Diane). I also get to “see” my family back home thanks to the wonders of
technology.
Monday: I teach a beginner level English class in the
church. This is one of my favorite things to do every week.
Tuesday: This is my “off” day. At night I go stay at the
mission house (which is basically a house that is the center of operations)
with Carlos and Karla (the pastors), Maria (church administrator), and Norma (a
youth who leads the children’s ministry).
Wednesday: This is a day for prayer, meditation, relaxation,
and planning. I also cook an “American” dessert every week to share with them.
Thursday: I teach an advanced English class in the church.
This is a fun class because all the students are youth from the church.
Friday: This is probably the most challenging day for me.
Every Friday night we go out in the streets to evangelize. We also spend time
in the church praying for people we know to come to Christ.
Saturday: I start the day by going to the feria to buy the
fruits and veggies for the week. Then in the afternoon I have a meeting with
the youth leadership team. Then at night we have youth group.
Extra: Since I have free time during the day, I spend my
time preparing for English classes and any lessons I teach. Something new is that I have come to
love running here. I also help with any translation needs and random things in
the church. One thing I have had to learn here is that idle time is not a sin,
which is hard for a North American to learn.
I hope this gives you a better idea of what my normal life
is like here. Each day frustrations become more minute and things that were so
different when I first came are now ordinary. That’s not to say that I don’t
have new challenges to face, but I know that which each new challenge comes new
growth and new normals.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Finally pictures...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)